People ask me all the time if I have ever tried haggis. Yes, I have not only tried it, but I actually really enjoy it (insert cringe faces from my friends back home)! Do I think about what is in it and that the FDA still hasn’t given it’s stamp of approval in the states? Nope. I think about the fact that it’s yummy and meat and I can have mashed potatoes with it. Not the neeps though, because I’m not a turnip fan. Gross.
With that in mind, I started thinking of all the other interesting foods that Scotland has to offer and thought I would put together a quick guide with my not so subtle feelings about each of them.
Scotch egg: This is an egg covered in sausage meat then fried. I mean, enough said.
Porridge: I can’t say this word with a straight face. Makes me laugh everytime someone says they are making themselves some porridge. Ok, Tiny Tim, go enjoy your porridge.
Shortbread: Buttery sweet goodness, that’s all you need to know.
Black pudding: Blood, fat and oatmeal. And people have it as a breakfast food. I can’t even begin to defend this one.
Digestives: Except for the unfortunate name, these are pretty great cookies. You can get them plain or covered in chocolate and are commonly given out with tea for dunking. Which I don’t do, because why would I ruin my cookie with warmed flavored water?
Toasties: A cute name for a grilled cheese sandwich. Just thought you would like to know.
Mince pies: They are very popular around Christmas time. It’s a combo of dried fruit and spices that is warmed up and put in a pastry. Back in the day you would add in minced meat (aka ground beef) as well. Gag.
All other pies: Scotch pie (or mutton pie), kidney pie, shepherd pie, etc. Scots love a savory pie with some form of meat and whatever else you want to put in it. It’s like a box of chocolates…therefore, I’m always weary.
Chocolate: Speaking of chocolate, I hate to say it, but chocolate is better over here. Twirl is the most amazing thing ever. Dairy milk bars are heaven on earth. Nothing can compare. Sorry Hershey.
Gummies: I really love gummy candy. Give me sour patch kids, dots, twizzlers, etc. all day long. But jelly babies in the UK are on another level.
Bacon roll: This is bacon in a roll. No egg, no cheese, just bacon. Yep, I find it confusing as well.
Squash: This is a wannabe orange juice and not allowed in my home. I have made it very clear to my husband that there is only one kind of orange juice. And that is Tropicana. I’m from Florida, there is no alternative.
Irn Bru: This is coke on crack. I have it on days I feel the need to be extra Scottish.
Vegetables: Fresh. Fresh. Fresh. So for my veggie and vegan friends that have been gagging while reading most of these items, you would enjoy the fresh veg and fruit that Scotland has to offer!
Chippy: This is fries, which is confusing because they call them chips. But putting that aside, a chippy is fries with melted cheese and it’s pure perfection. It’s the equivalent to a jumbo slice at 2am.
As you can see there are some really good, really odd and really disgusting foods that Scotland has to offer. But like my momma always said, you have to try things at least once!
The other day I was walking home from the grocery store with three bags and I proceeded to walk off a curb and fall in front of a large group of people at a bus stop. Most people would be quite embarrassed by this. However, for me, the pain and not so infrequent nature of this event led me to just stand up, grab my bags and limp home as blood dripped down my leg. I have, unfortunately, been falling since I was a kid and for some reason I haven’t seemed to grow out of it. In good news, I only broke one egg in my grocery bag.